Refresh and Restart

If you've been following me for a while, you might have noticed that all my previous posts are missing. (If you haven't, then I'm sorry that we're starting on such a sombre foot.) Why? Because I deleted them. For a few days now, I've been going back and forth with the idea of completely scrapping everything and restarting my blogging endeavor from zero. Far too much has happened in the past few months and I've allowed too much time to pass in between writing. I look over what I wrote before and it seems like a completely different person's work. In reality, it is a different person's work at this point. Almost every aspect of my life has changed in one way or another in the past five or so months; somethings for the better, some not. I want everything to be better and I believe one big way to bring that to fruition is to start being completely and totally honest.

I started blogging back in June of last year as a way to pass the time while I was unemployed. I quickly found that I quite enjoyed it and continued once I began my new job in July. It forced me to think of things to write about and new ways to photograph. The job did not turn out to be what I was expecting so blogging turned into a nice distraction; and even more so once my now ex-boyfriend and I learned that his father was dying. His father's decline was very quick and he passed away on September 30. From there, blogging became a sort of cover-up. My boyfriend handled the death in all the wrong ways possible. I tried to keep it together for the both of us. I visualized the situation as a ship; does one abandon ship whilst going through rough waters? I believed the storm would pass, but it didn't. I didn't exactly abandon ship though, I sent out an SOS and I was rescued; otherwise, I probably would have never left. Everything that happened never should have, but it did. Now it's just a matter of getting past its wake.

So far, 2013 has been an extreme whirlwind of emotions. There was a period of time where I felt debilitating sadness. Like him, I also dealt with the situation and its aftermath incorrectly. I went behind peoples' backs and lied to those dearest to me, something I never would have expected of myself. I screwed up quite a few things in the process but worst of all, lost trust from people I care about. For a short while, I assumed that I was broken inside. I realized that instead I was and still am completely and totally lost. I don't know what I want to do or where I want to be. I'm literally waiting around and hoping that I'll wake up and know. In the meantime, I'm picking up the pieces and one of those pieces happens to be blogging.

When I originally started this blog, I wanted to focus on beauty reviews. It quickly turned into more of a lifestyle blog once I included some travel posts and later some food posts as well (exclusively macarons). Doing this complete refresh, I'm going to keep with the general lifestyle theme. You can expect beauty reviews of a broad variety, travel, reading, and the occasional food post. Anything that meets my fancy, honestly. If these are things that might interest you, please subscribe! You can also find me on Twitter and on Instagram. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I promise my posts will be much more lighthearted following this one. See you soon hopefully!